A few years ago, I wrote a blog called ‘Getting Out Into The World…..On Purpose!’ It was all about girly shopping in public and the worries that I was hearing at the time. I was asking callers about it and so many of them had trepidation and a few were downright anxious just because I brought it up. So I addressed it here and I’m reviving it now in case you missed it. If you want to break out of the online shopping and venture out into the world to shop but have your hesitations, please read this.
Girly Shopping In Public?
Reasons for not shopping for lingerie in public are usually given to me as:
1) People will look at me
2) People will say something to me that I might not be prepared for
3) This is a small town
4) I am worried about judgment/discrimination
And do you know what I say to that?
1) Let them look. People know that cross dressers and sissies exist. It may or may not mean your gay, and that’s no one’s business. If you want to shop, you shouldn’t be confined to your house.
2) Who says you have to say anything to jerks that give you a hard time? I know for a fact that some of you have quite the comeback handy, but I am not suggesting you throw down in a Victoria’s Secret! I have had people talk smack to me before, and I usually just walk away.
3) I am not advocating hiding from anyone, but it would make some of you feel better to shop where no one knows you. So do it. Drive to the next town over, or maybe the town after that. Just don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve everything there is to have. Your money spends the same, right? That means you’d be an excellent repeat customer!
4) Judgement and discrimination exists. For every sensitive, open-minded person, there is an asshole waiting to run their mouth. When the landscape changes, that’s when we educate. When we are gentle and persistent, that’s when others learn. And even if you build up all that courage, encounter horrible people while shopping and are cursing me all the way home, you will at least be able to say that you tried because you had the right to.
My Tips
Here’s some tips that I would suggest:
1) Bring a friend. Not only will you have a resource for fashion advice, but if you’ve never been lingerie or clothes shopping on your own, you’ll feel less anxious. They will be there for moral support, and it will be fun to hang with a pal. The right natural born woman would love to shop with you!
2) Enlist the help of a friendly clerk at the store. This person can do more than open a changing room. They can help you get fitted for a bra and make recommendations about items that might look best on you.
3) Check yourself before you wreck yourself. If you go anywhere looking for trouble, you’ll more than likely find it. Make sure that in your courage-building in getting ready to venture out, you do not walk into a boutique or shop with an attitude, prepared for issues. You’ll come off as touchy, rude and a troublemaker. Be discreet. Casually peruse items, ask questions politely and enjoy the experience.
You deserve an opportunity to get fitted correctly, to feel the fabric and soak up every bit of beautiful, feminine feeling that shopping gives. Never forget that!
Wrapping Up
I hope beyond hope that if you have been considering shopping in public, me re-running this blog has brought something to the forefront even if you ‘put it away’ a while ago. I want my callers to be happy and feel special, and I also want the world to change. Staying home so that others remain in their comfort zone does not change the world. Taking your place in public as a sissy or cross dresser and enjoying all the resources that are available to others, does. No hiding. You’re here and everyone needs to accept it. That’s how the world evolves.
Hugs and happy shopping!
I used to be fearful and afraid if people saw me shopping but now I don’t care. I do want to get busted by girls I know. Tomorrow my masseuse is going to put makeup on me and said it will be fun and good for me. I was told to be ready!!! Bring my wigs/dresses/lipsticks/slip/bra/
heels/I’ll bring my dd breast forms as well and tell her this is what I want done to me and if she’s interested to do this on monthly basis. I’ll even pay her/ask to add to massage payments. After much thought this is what I want as it’s who I am an become. Why fight and resist this? I can’t. Hopefully she will want to do this monthly before my waxings as I can skip tennis lessons that day and if she can fit me in this is what I want. She already has me using rodan and fields cream and lotions to keep my legs/ body and cheeks girlish soft and smooth and I think this is what’s best for for me. She’s married but told me not to worry about her husband. I’m not looking to ruin her marriage/nor involve sex just feminization fun with her having fun/way with me.At my age most women are married with kids and I’m not as well girls I know have put me in friend zone which means I’m not boyfriend material anymore. So this makes sense. It’s time to accept who I am and become the girl I was always meant to be for real.
Exactly, Paulina!
Love this post Mistress Amber. It took me a long time to gain the courage to one shop for girly clothes and second actually buy something. I still get nervous and anxious when I shop but I’m more confident than I was at first. I used to lie when asked by a sales clerk or if they commented saying it was for my girlfriend. But when I noticed they never bought that reason I started admitting the purchase was for me.
I only say something if I’m askesd or receive a comment. I never force it on a sales clerk making them uncomfortable asking for trouble.
Glad you love the post, Stephanie…..and I LOVE that you shop in public.
Ms. Amber,
I have found that in a lot of instances, the clerks, especially at the national stores, like Victoria’s Secret, are more than happy to help you. They know cD’s and sissies love their stuff just as much as us natural women, and like you said, the money spends the same.
Delia
So true, Miss Delia. I hope I get lots of online shoppers out in public after this!
OMG how did I pass this post up??! I LOVE this post, now the first pretty in pink outfit is amazing especially with silver shoes which is a throwback to the 70’s alla Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgwick. Perfection!
Thanks!