At least once a week, I talk to a sissy or a cross dresser that laments not having the courage to shop for lingerie in public. It’s time we talk about that, because it’s almost 2015 and some of you have never done it.
Consider this your little nudge!
What are you afraid of?
Reasons for not shopping for lingerie in public are usually given to me as:
1) People will look at me
2) People will say something to me that I might not be prepared for
3) This is a small town
4) I am worried about judgment/discrimination
And do you know what I say to that?
1) Let them look. When people wig out, it’s usually because there’s a problem with them. People know that cross dressers and sissies exist. It may or may not mean your gay, and that’s no one’s business. Just because some people like to deny that something exists does not mean you should be confined to your house.
2) Who says you have to say anything to jerks that give you a hard time? I know for a fact that some of you have quite the comeback handy, but I am not suggesting you throw down in a Victoria’s Secret! I have had people talk smack to me before, and I usually just walk away. But if you are being harassed, store clerks that realize what’s going on don’t usually stand for that nonsense. They want everyone to feel comfortable.
3) I am not advocating hiding from anyone, but it would make some of you feel better to shop where no one knows you. So do it. Drive to the next town over, or maybe the town after that. It’s fine. Just don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve everything there is to have. Your money spends the same, right? You are just as perfect of a candidate to be a repeat customer in any store as anyone else, and last time I checked, stores liked money.
4) Judgement and discrimination exists. For every sensitive, open-minded person, there is an asshole waiting to run their mouth. But when nothing changes, nothing changes. Will you be the lone person to turn it all around? Probably not. But it is only in speaking up, do we educate. It is only by living an example, do others learn. And even if you build up all that courage, encounter horrible people while shopping and are cursing me all the way home, you will at least be able to say that you tried because you had the right to. And I hope with all my might that you don’t let those people beat you down and keep you grounded. You have every right to fly, shine and smile in the sun.
Here’s some tips that I would suggest:
1) Bring a friend. Not only will you have a resource for fashion advice, but if you’ve never been lingerie or clothes shopping on your own, you’ll feel less anxious. They will be there for moral support, and it will be fun to hang with a pal.
2) Enlist the help of a friendly clerk at the store. This person can do more than open a changing room. They can help you get fitted for a bra and make recommendations about items that might look best on you.
3) Check yourself before you wreck yourself. If you go anywhere looking for trouble, you’ll more than likely find it. Make sure that in your courage-building in getting ready to venture out, you do not walk into a boutique or shop with an attitude, prepared for issues. You’ll come off as touchy, rude and a troublemaker. Be discreet. Casually peruse items, ask questions politely and enjoy the experience.
You deserve an opportunity to get fitted correctly, to feel the fabric and soak up every bit of beautiful, feminine feeling that shopping gives. Never forget that!
I used to worry if I got caught by people I know but now I hope I do get caught by girls I know. I have gone to Victoria’s Secret many times. Last time I was there I spent $300 which I got goofy but I spent hour in there trying on samples of lotions/perfumes/lipsticks. My shirt/skin smelled so girlish as I also tried on shimmer blush/rouge. I was so caught up if someone I knew walked in I’d be busted. I’m not sure salesgirl could smell perfume/lotion on me or notice blush/rouge lipstick on me. I’d love to go with friend but no one knows my fetish:( I’m afraid what they would think:(
It can be quite freeing to share secrets like this with people in real life, and if you have someone you trust, then I encourage you to at least consider confiding. Every life has struggles and no one should ever have to go through anything alone, but of course, you need someone discreet, understanding, open minded and mature. Give it some thought!
Hi Ms
These are wonderful words. Years ago when I used to go out often I used these same guidelines. Our money spends just as well as anyone else’s and the last time I checked it is still a free country. I even bought a wedding gown at a bridal salon with fittings and everything. I never was harassed. Oh a few times idiots pointed and laughed but that is just sticks and stones. After going out shopping and going out to dinner and socializing with other members of our community I just decided that it is really not for me. I never felt like I fit in. I would never have found that out if I did not give it a try. This is great advice. All who read this pay attention 🙂
xxx
yvonne
Thank you for reading! Some sissies and cross dressers find that shopping in public is liberating and exhilarating…but I agree, it’s not for everyone. Try it at least once, for sure!
Such a powerful post Empress Amber! It’s relevant to everyone as well. Whenever I feel shy about being my random, crazy self, I think of one of my fave quotes from “Practical Magic”.
Aunt Frances Owens (played vibrantly by Stockard Channing): “My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage!” 😀
Great quote, and how fitting! Thank you for reading, Miss Fiona. It means alot coming from you.
Ms. Amber,
I really liked this post. Over on my femfabulous.com blog, I just did a post offering up some shopping IN STORE tips for our sissies and crossdressers.
I think our two posts coordinate nicely! Love your tips, especially bringing along a friend for fashion advice! I LOVE taking men shopping for their girlie things.
🙂 Ms. Delia
Thanks, Mistress! I love giving practical advice and helping our ladies enjoy fashion and the fun that comes with it! Thanks for reading!
This is the perfect time for this article on sissy shopping tips. Though when is NOT a great time for shopping tips? Winter is all about glitter and glam and the stores will be chock full of it. I do so hope our fabulous fems get the courage to walk through those doors with their heads held high so they too can enjoy the countless goodies on display.
I could not agree more, Mistress! There’s to much sexy stuff to see and buy to miss out on an opportunity!