Mr. Everything But A Penis called me the other today. He sounded cute, but smart women know that’s only one box checked. Employed? Check. Has his own place and not living in Grandma’s basement? Check! A guy that seems sweet, smart and would probably treat you like a Queen? Check, check and check! Oh, but there’s one more category, and this is a deal breaker. Does he have a meaty cock in between his legs to stuff me right and make me moan? Hello! I just called him Mr. Everything But A Penis! Sadly, Mr. Everything But falls painfully short in the one area that women just can’t ignore.

No Penis? You’re My Bitch!

This pathetic POS virgin has a sad 2 inch pindick and it doesn’t get hard ever. Ever! It’s broken! He’s in his mid 20’s and should be bagging babes and getting numbers while living the high life of a sex god, but this poor yahoo sits home alone instead and can’t even jerk off properly because his tiny, anti-erection nub is as dead as disco. It’s a sad day when your pee stream is the most exciting thing to happen between your legs!

Oh, the fun I could have showing off a pet like Mr. Everything But! My girlfriends would laugh until themselves silly! Chastity might spring to mind with some Mistresses, but I’d probably just tie a pretty bow with a pink ribbon on that sad little clit instead!

I’d dress him in panties of course, and maybe we’d wear matching and be twinsies, too! I’m sure he’d twitch underneath my ass when I queened his face, and why shouldn’t I? Little loser bitch isn’t doing anything else but sucking air, so I say put him to work pleasuring me! It would probably be total torment to be that close to a hot, pink pussy and never be able to enjoy it like a real man does. There’s really no limit to the shame I could heap onto Mr. Everything But A Penis!

Pull, Pull And Pull Some More!

I told that loser fuck Mr. Everything But exactly when I’d be running this blog and I have no doubt he’s pulling on that little pee pee right now, and will do so again and again as he reads and re-reads this! It boggles the mind that he can’t even reach a satisfying conclusion and will be on the masturbation treadmill not going anywhere instead, but oh well! He’s used to disappointment and the hits are just gonna keep on coming! Good luck watching life pass you by and being alone the rest of your life! Toodles, virgin bitch!