This Call Confessions is of a different kind, and concerns a favorite regular of mine, someone I have wrote about before. I call him Cute Cam Guy, and you may remember him from entries here, here and here. But this specific Call Confessions is also about something that alot of you struggle with. I am so glad that my he gave me permission to write about it, because my hope is that I can reach others where they are in a subject often dealt with internally: purging.
What Is Purging?
Purging is when you get rid of items that make you feel guilty about a certain behavior. For some people, it might be panties, sex toys, makeup, porn watching, kinks, clothing or anything used in sissy or cross dresser activities. For Cute Cam Guy, it wasn’t just about purging items, it was about feeling bad for what got him off….his anal play, his cam shows, his interest in porn and his toys. So he decided to do away with all of it. He removed my contact info from Skype, he stopped watching porn and he resolved not to call me. But he couldn’t do it.
The truth is, nothing that Cute Cam Guy does hurts anyone. His fetishes are enjoyed in his free time and they don’t even put him in a physical relationship with another person, making him cheat on an existing relationship. His sexy solo play time is just masturbation kicked up a notch, and we all know that there’s nothing wrong with masturbation. That being said, toys are designed to enhance our pleasure and watching porn is hardly a crime. However, Cute Cam Guy could not (and cannot) deny what turns him on. He had to decide between living without his masturbation outlet and harmless kink, or allowing himself to have it. He chose to accept himself. And that, dear reader, made all the difference.
The Purging Cycle
Are you beating yourself up because of your fetish? Are you feeling guilty because you get horny over porn, cross dressing, toys, BDSM or masturbation? You are fighting a losing battle. You cannot turn off what turns you on. You are what you are. And you will teeter totter between what you think you should do and who you are until you decide to stop feeling guilty and ashamed. Don’t do that to yourself. Whatever has you feeling bad, ask yourself if it is rooted in someone else’s thinking projected onto you, if it belongs in someone else’s rule book. Oftentimes, we are programmed early to feel bad about things because of what other people believe. Only you know what’s best for you. You want to purge something? Purge the condemnation, the critical voice in your head, the early programming you may have received that now threatens your psychological freedom and makes you judge and punish yourself.
Update on Cute Cam Guy
So what happened to my friend, Cute Cam Guy? He called me and we had a session. He had a butt plug, ate his cum and allowed himself to enjoy it. He has realized that his kink is a part of him, and I am so proud that he has. I’m glad he’s back, but it’s more than just looking forward to more cam sessions. It pleases me deeply knowing that he has conquered something and is now moving forward.
You can, and you will.
* Call Confessions is not a surprise blog, and featured callers have been asked to appear. They have the opportunity to decline before blogs go to print. *
Ah a post near and dear to my experience as I wrote about a few weeks ago here. I have never physically purged, although I have been tempted many times. I have tried to mentally purge often, but all it did is make me more unhappy. It’s a tricky area; I think it takes the right touch by the right mistress to really help each guy who goes through that. The wrong reaction can make it worse. I’m glad I’m still here and standing; I agree wholeheartedly with your ending statements about purging the critical voice, but everybody has to get to the place they feel good in their own way. Very thoughtful and well done post.
Thank you!
And yes, everyone has their own journey to get to that place where they have peace, but you’re right. A good Mistress has alto to do with it…..for guidance, for support, encouragement. Definitely.
WOW! I had a similar conversation this week with a man guilty about his kink!
Ms. Amber, I think purging can happen as you have so well stated here, with any fetish! I recently talked to a man so full of guilt about his masturbation habits! We ended up working out a schedule for his masturbation, reducing it from EVERY day to twice a week. This really helped him to focus on work, and appreciate his sexy time when he was allowed to have it!
🙂 Ms. Delia
See, sometimes all it takes is a little tweaking! I’m glad that you and he found a compromise that doesn’t kill his fun time, Miss Delia!