Remember that one movie years ago where you couldn’t feed Gremlins after midnight? That was a classic film, and so apropo for my callers. No, that doesn’t mean you’re all bunch of evil, late-night monsters spawned from a Mogwai. But there’s just something that happens to you boys late at night. It doesn’t really have to be midnight related, but it’s definitely an ‘in the wee hours’ thing. Late in the evening, many of you transform from mild-mannered citizens that work and coexist with others into horny, one-track minded men that wait until everyone in the house is asleep to stroke the cock you can’t keep your hand from. Not to mention that urge that drives you to madness, your lust for anal stretch and stuffing! Your mind is wild with filth and fantasy, and you are unstoppable when it comes to getting what you need.

Horny husband on the line

With his wife sleeping, my confessor spoke in hushed tones. Not able to access the sex toy that would have made things simple, he was on the hunt for non-sexual items around the house to make things interesting. Hey, I love it. Not only do I love it, but I encourage it. I even wrote about it here, adding a challenge to all of you to the same.

Let me just say for the millionth time that men will do anything to cum. They will say anything, give you anything, agree to anything. This is also fun for me, because this means that I get to play my way. So what does this mean for masturbation addicted pets that are crawling the walls for release? It means a show that I direct, live entertainment with a nice ending for you! See? I’m a giver.

I had great fun with my naughty, cum-driven caller for sure! He was able to locate a firm banana and a cucumber, and once he ensured they were clean with no sharp edges, he went to work stuffing his hungry man-hole with some sweet produce. His slutty moans weren’t enough for me, so I had him repeating anything I wanted to hear. So it was ‘I’m a pussy bitch…..I’m a cucumber fucker…..’I’m Miss Amber’s little bitch whore!’ as long as I wanted it. He bounced breathlessly, loving every minute of his sexy food play. And I just sat back and laughed, enjoying each grunt and pant. How I wish that wifey would have wandered into his secret sesh, but hey, I can’t have everything!

I loved our call, you naughty newlywed. Your ass play is encouraged and always welcomed here.