There’s no shortage of men that call me and beg for a dominant Mistress. Quite often, these men confuse being attracted to dominance with the actual ability to handle all that comes with their request.
If you tell a Mistress that you want dominance or humiliation, you’re going to get it. When you call a Mistress, she’s not going to go easy on you. Mistresses provide phone sessions to real submissives, and a poser that likes to pretend will soon find himself with problems. After discussing preliminary information with you pre-session, a Mistress will do exactly what you’ve either asked for or made yourself available for. As the saying goes, ‘If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!’
Many callers correspond ahead of time and express a desire to submit, serve and please a Mistress. This happens all the time by email or Yahoo/Skype messaging. Actually submitting in a session separates the subs from the others. True colors come out quick, and no Mistress will tolerate rudeness or disrespect. Maybe another woman will ‘go and make you a sandwich’ or allow you to interrupt and talk over her. Try that attitude with a Mistress, and don’t be surprised if you feel her bristle and then her boot on your face.
Sensual Mistresses may not be as strict, but the info detailed below is just as applicable to them.
Tips for a Mistress phone session:
1) Communicate with her before the session by email, if possible. Convey anything that you would like her to know. Not all Mistresses do pre-call questionnaires, but if she does, utilize the opportunity.
2) Allow enough time for your call. If you are hoping for a thorough session and have a detailed scenario or plan to have multiple things happening in your session and only secure a 10-15 minute block of time, you are not allowing a chance for the Mistress to work or for you to benefit. If you were not able to email her beforehand, allow for this in the beginning of the call, and understand that this portion may run long. Not allowing enough time for all stages of the call cheats both of you.
3) Keep your appointment. To disregard it and not communicate with a valid reason is wrong. Mistresses understand car trouble, what working late is like and how life can sometimes get in the way. But if you do not try to communicate after a missed session so you can apologize, it is blatant disrespect. If your Mistress does not take appointments, get to know her schedule and catch her when she is available.
4) Make sure that everything you need is with you at the time of the session. Make sure that all toys are cleaned and ready. Lube(s), nipple clamps, blindfold, paddle….anything you’re going to need (or possibly need) should be available and nearby. Making your Mistress wait while you scurry to various places in your home and look for things in drawers is rude, poor planning and a waste of your paid time.
5) All Dispatchers deserve your respect. They work very hard for the Mistresses here, so be kind, speak slowly and clearly in all exchanges with them.
6) Do not speak when Mistress is talking. Do not speak over her, do not interrupt her. Listen to her sentences fully, wait, think and respond. You have no business talking to her like any other woman. She is not just any other woman.
7) Thank your Mistress after the session, either verbally or by email. This is just good practice in politeness.
Adopting these key points and making it your aim will ensure satisfying sessions again and again!
I resonate with a lot of what you’ve written here, Miss Amber. Fate, or the Big Domme Goddess in Her celestial dungeon or whatever one chooses to credit, has favored Me with having a vast majority of playmates who know what they want, mean what they say, and are prepared for all that entails. And it’s not as if a boy should feel afraid to ask for direction if he’s new to it all, and only has some nebulous feeling that he belongs, in some respect, under the control of a strong woman, but it really is best (for the subbie) if either some of that communication can occur before the session, or if they’re prepared to allow for the time to explore during the session itself.
I agree, Miss Rachel! Communication is so very important, and completely vital to a proper session. Hopefully, this post will drive that home for those that need to see it and result in many fabulous calls!
Mistress Amber,
If I may provide my opinion (not that it matters) the key to any good relationship is honesty and commitment. Setting realistic expectations up front so no one is hurt or has their time wasted is the decent thing people can do. I am always honest up front so I don’t waste anyone’s time. I am respectful of others and hope that this piece hits home with future subs to respect you and other superior Mistress’s who deserve nothing less than the most extreme respect.
I appreciate that, and most subs do. But some people are still learning and need a little guidance.
This is so funny! I didn’t realize that there were other posts about communication until I saw a comment from Ms Rachel! I’ve also recently done a post about why I don’t take appointments outside of my regular hours. I know the guys appreciate us and are generally really great …. but just like in an career or group, sometimes we just need to say how to treat us!
Thanks for the blog post!
You’re so welcome, Miss Olivia! I rarely take appointments at all, and unfortunately, it’s because some people do not respect my time. Thankfully, I am available ALOT, so catching me is not difficult. =)