Yesterday, I presented a ‘case study’ of sorts, and I asked you to not only consider it but be thinking of how a Real Mistress would respond.

Miss the beginning of this post? Find it here.

Fantasy and Reality

I am not trying to ruffle the feathers of men that respect the idea of being submissive and like submitting. This post is not about ‘submissive’ as a mood, but as a lifestyle. Yesterday’s post was about a man that believes that he is a ‘lifestyle submissive’ despite only actually submitting only a few days a week. But being a lifestyle submissive is not like a coat you wear that can be taken on and off. It is a conditioning that’s ingrained in you like DNA. Your respect for your Mistress is unwavering, and your lifestyle reflects obedience because you were made to serve and see no other choice. Even when you are not with her, you understand that her lessons are for you every day and not just certain days. You obey her even when she is not there. It doesn’t matter that she will never know you disobeyed. You will know, and you choose to obey.

The man I talked about yesterday lives as an independent and masculine man the majority of the week and then goes through the motions of a submissive whenever he sees his Mistress. This only makes him proficient at playing a submissive role. If fantasy is all you’re going for, play away! There’s nothing wrong with fantasy as an escape. For some men, their responsibilities, marriages and prior commitments make this all they can enjoy. But call it what it is. You are a roleplayer, you have a rich thought-life and you get off on the idea of being submissive. You may yearn to be a true lifestyle submissive, but that doesn’t mean you are. But there’s a big difference in roleplay and a day-to-day lifestyle. If this man was a lifestyle submissive, his whippings would be infrequent, if ever. He would never lie, and his disobedience would sadden him.

Be reminded that this man is allowed to enter his Mistress sexually. If he is truly beneath her and his ejaculate is worth nothing, then surely the Mistress can locate a suitable sex partner. How can one call themselves a Mistress, have such little control over a submissive and find themselves continually punishing? Such behavior would not occur with an actual Mistress. Of course, it is up to the Mistress to decide what she will do with her sub, and perhaps she just feels like fucking him. But true Mistresses know that if there are issues with behavior, they identify the cause and they nip it. They do not continue to reward a bad submissive, giving him the green light to repeat the error again and again. Quite the contrary, the submissive may lose privileges, be restricted for a time or indefinitely. There is punishment for bad behavior, sometimes punishment in front of others. But this man is getting mixed signals because the ‘Mistress’ is ill-equipped to handle the task. She is likely just a woman and not a Mistress. There is a difference. This sounds like a regular woman that likes the idea of control and may be quite bossy and demanding, but her ‘submissive’ has too much freedom. He is allowed to live in both worlds. Any progress he makes is soon erased and forgotten and she does not have the ability to reign him in.

Living a fantasy part-time with a dominant woman doesn’t make her a Mistress any more than purchasing a stethoscope after watching every season of Greys Anatomy does not make me a Doctor. I might want to be one quite badly, but there is still training involved.

Some people might think I’m being too harsh on those that love fantasy, like I’m acting as if they can’t be part of the party, like they aren’t devoted to their sessions whenever they can fit them in. This might mean when wifey is at work, when everyone is asleep, when they are out of town on business and calling from a hotel. But for every man that calls for a sexy one-on-One with a Mistress, gets off and goes back to reality, there are devoted sissies and cross dressers out there that are breathing in every feminization lesson they can. There are individuals on a journey of transgender and discovery, living day-to-day. There are men locked in chastity, truly committed to sexual surrender and/or behavior modification through abstinence and discipline. These people do not shed their lifestyles like a skin, it is who they are. I will never group both sides together. They are both important, but they are not the same.

You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? Are you willing to submit to the life that is needed for true transformation? If you claim to be a lifestyle submissive, you will need to place yourself under a real Mistress that will shape, guide, nourish and mold you. Too much freedom builds bad habits and will stunt your inner growth, cheating you out of the true journey.