If you are a sissy or a crossdresser, you have likely amassed some key pieces of lingerie, favorite feminine outfits and fashion accessories throughout your journey. These are things that make you feel beautiful, whole and free. But what happens when you are struggling with deep seated guilt, shame or embarrassment about your crossdressing or sissy activities? Those feelings can come in waves, decimate your confidence and leave you wondering if you should just get rid of everything. Purging. That’s what we’re talking about today.

Purging and the feminine closet….

Purging is not new, and most crossdressers wrestle with it at one time or another. Usually, it is a cycle. Feminine instruction often feels like an awakening that speaks to your innermost parts, like a language you are learning for a life you were meant for. But some of you still have those stumbling blocks that can steal your joy and sour your progress into femininity. You may stop feeling like a hopeful work in progress and end up feeling like a freak, that there must be something wrong with you. This voice inside is a lie. It is a hurtful message from a broken place within you. Your personal pain uses your brain as a microphone, spewing one negative thing after another until you are convinced that destroying your female closet will be the first step to peace. So you get rid of everything, casting it from you like poison. Instead, you adopt a lifestyle that is more accepted, and your clothes follow suit. But try as you might, that peace doesn’t come. You only feel the tug towards femininity again, towards the beautiful things that still speak to you. Just like a fish can never be a bird, you will eventually realize that ‘pretending’ is as fake as it feels. You may mull these feelings for a long time, actually suffering in a way you cannot describe. You’ll do this until you decide that you are done living that way, until you realize that you are truly meant for femininity. It can feel euphoric to end at this realization, and you’ll do the one thing that makes you feel like yourself again: begin building your feminine closet once more. That is, until the cycle begins again.

It’s not the clothes, it’s you….

Every single person struggles with personal issues. We all have a cross to bear. But we’re all different, so my struggle will not look like yours. But I am here to tell you that no matter how many times you destroy your lingerie, wigs, shoes and clothes, nothing will change. Ridding yourself of items does not change who we were meant to be. Nothing changes overnight, and if you have hurt within you, you owe it to yourself to deal with it! It is likely the common denominator with most or all of your inner struggles, unhealthy relationships or insecurity. Do not waste one more day giving power to whatever keeps you defeated and down. You are an extraordinary creation and worthy of love and joy! Take the time to locate your hurt, look it in the face and work it out with a good friend, a therapist, a journal or your Mistress. Do whatever you need, and if the urge to purge your closet creeps in during your healing, try packing up your feminine items and place them in a different closet or a different room. Your items are more than just fabric, they are connected to you. So remove them from your sight if you must, but do not destroy your belongings. You will likely mourn them and regret it.

Never forget how special you are. ‘Normal’ doesn’t exist, so don’t be misled. Radiant, wise, joyful, free. These are the goals we all should have.
Be who you’re meant to be.