Mr. S. called me and had to be quiet because his girlfriend didn’t know he was on the phone. He craved anal play but had no toys. He would have loved a dildo, but had no idea where he’d hide it to keep it from his girlfriend. He offered to make a dildo by wrapping a bunched up kitchen towel with plastic wrap, but bitch please! I’m all for creative ways to masturbate and utilizing things around the house, but pushing a towel cock in your ass is bananas. You’re a grown man and if you can drive, vote, drink and pay taxes, you can buy a damn dildo if you want it.

That Buttslut Life Beckons…..

Well, he called me back the next day and told me he’s almost single. Trouble in paradise but he didn’t seem too broken up about it. And to that, I say woohoo, time to celebrate your independence! Sometimes The Universe gives us signals and this is one of them. One door closes, another opens. And that means it’s time to graduate to buttslut status!

I told Mr. S. he needs a beginner’s buttplug and a dildo, lots of lube and all the panties he wants! Mr. S. said he has a neighbor that keeps him stocked in dirty panties for sniffing. Hey, it’s time to dig a little deeper and see if she wants to be more. Friends with benefits would be the best case scenario and I can watch on cam!

What About You?

Life’s too short to wish you were living your best life, relationship or not. Living a masturbation minded life is not only hella fun, it’s an excellent stress release! If you think The Universe is trying to tell you something too, you better listen up and take life by the horns! Don’t let anyone get in the way of natural pleasure that doesn’t hurt anyone, anyway. You’ll find a hiding spot for any toy you have, and you can hide any fetish, too. No excuses!