Vanilla is more than just an ice cream flavor! Vanilla is another way of saying that your sex partner is basic, conservative, and/or disinterested in alot of variation, sexy talk or kink. They may refuse to watch porn with you, refuse to give/receive oral or participate in alot of foreplay. There’s probably not alot of buttplay or sex toys, if any. Your interest in cum eating? Gotta keep it to yourself. Spontaneity? Forget it. Vanilla sex partners are often more routine than adventurous. They are usually stuck in a rut and resistant to change. Now, sex isn’t everything in a relationship, of course. Your partner may be amazing in every other area. They may be your best friend and confidante, someone that has stood beside you when no one else has. But sex is still a considerable slice of the pie.

What Makes Someone Vanilla?

There’s all kinds of reasons why someone might be vanilla. They may have been raised conservatively with alot of religion or rigid thinking that shamed them for any and all sexual thoughts and desires. There are definitely specific parts of the country that are this way. People can also be vanilla because of their culture or because they have always been nervous or shy about sex. There may have even been a history of abuse growing up or even just one traumatic event that changed them forever.

Can You Accept Vanilla Forever?

First of all, if you’re still dating, you’ll need to ask yourself if you want to marry someone that’s unlikely to change. I would encourage you to talk to your partner and explain your needs. But honestly, people are who they are. It takes an extraordinary amount of consistent effort to keep something up. If they don’t really want the sexual life you do and they’re only doing it because you asked, they may grow to resent you. If you’re pretending that you’re fine without the sex life you want, you’ll likely resent them right back. Is this something you can accept? Can you shelve all your fantasies? They say life is short, but life in an uncomfortable relationship can feel like an eternity.

If someone has sexual hang-ups, there’s absolutely no shame in therapy or working out your crap. If your partner is willing to sit down with someone, you should be patient because they are trying to iron things out. As long as you see consistent progress, you should be supportive. BUT….if someone has shown you who that they will not change and it’s not what you want but you marry them anyway, you’ve got a responsibility now. So choose carefully!

If your partner is vanilla just because they’re conservative, you may be able to work on that if they’re willing. Starting small with a sex toy here or spontaneous sex there could get the ball rolling. Often, when someone tries something new, they find out that they like it. You might create a red-hot sex monster when that woman of yours learns how fun it is to take charge sexually! But if you have a completely unwilling partner and they don’t care to try or see why they should, you definitely have another alternative.

A Mistress Might Be Just What You Need

LDW is such a great place. It’s the perfect opportunity to talk about filthy fantasies you never could with your partner. You can tell all your deep dark secrets to your Mistress and begin to thrive in the sexual state of mind that you’re craving. You can revel in the kind of naughtiness that your partner shies away from or even makes you feel bad for liking. Having a masturbation manager could be your new secret pleasure. Explore your kink, get dominated, dabble in some dirty talk. Your Mistress is ready!

The reason why an LDW Mistress like me is so perfect is because it’s a way to play and explore without the guilt of cheating. No worries about disease or someone else’s cleanliness or sexual history. Nothing to bring home to your partner. It’s completely safe, discreet, private and fun. A Mistress can teach you all about subspace and so many other things!
So if you have a vanilla partner, all is not lost. Your Mistress is here to help you get your fix!