When I mention the word ‘anal’ in any sexual conversation with friends, I pay careful attention to their faces. Some eyes light up, and a devious smile soon follows. It’s easy to tell when I’m talking to someone that has tried it. But in every crowd, there’s at least one person that shuts down when I use that dirty, four-letter word.
Anal. I can tell that I’ve already offended them just by saying it. I don’t have to share a story or give any details. They are already grossed out, they often make a face like they’re tasting something rancid, and they wave their hands as if to say ‘No thanks, I don’t want to know, I’m good.’
I’m not jumping right to toys or technique, just so you know. Although there are many things I could say on that aspect, I will wait. The first thing I want to address is the hesitation about the whole subject.
Why are people nervous about anal masturbation?
I can tell you now that if you dismiss ‘anal play‘ in any capacity, you are definitely closing the (back) door on a new way to play. Yes, anal is personal. Its actually super personal. You’re sharing something that makes some people feel embarrassed. It’s easy to feel insecure about something that some people assume is an automatic test of their hygiene, and to be nervous about smells and tastes. Maybe it’s even because they are worried if they’ll like it, and what it ultimately says about them. Anytime you offer yourself, it is done with certain things in mind. Your partner understands smells and tastes. If they would like to try anal with you, they know what comes with that package and are wanting to enjoy it with you. You shouldn’t be ashamed to want it, or want to try it. Your anus can provide immeasurable pleasure, and just like your parents probably told you to try ‘just a bite’ before decide you hate something on your plate, I am challenging you to do the same. You might just find that anal masturbation is your new favorite thing. Whether you choose to share that with someone else is your choice entirely.
Expanding upon your thoughts about ‘anal play’….
Next week, I want to talk more about the ways that you might explore yourself, and I hope you meet me right back here. Until then, perhaps consider what your reservations are. Any caring physical partner that respects you is ready to accept you, and of course, any solo play is private. Either way, it can go at your pace. Resist the urge to automatically judge anal sex because you are worried it might be messy or gross, because you assume that it makes you a homosexual, or because your upbringing automatically dismissed it. There’s nothing wrong with being homosexual anyway, but there’s definitely nothing ‘homosexual’ about being curious about your body. Overcoming psychological hurdles will be the key to allowing yourself to enjoy what is naturally yours.
Please join me next week when I explore the second half of this essay, and discuss ways to start slow and explore anal play at your own pace.
