I’ve had a few of you recently confide in me that you gone through a purge of your beloved belongings and are now reeling with feelings of still being pulled in the same direction that you were wrestling with. You expected to feel different once you swept those things out of your life, you were hoping to gain some peace and maybe have a chance to start being what ‘you’re expected to be.’
And yet, here you are. You still crave that inner ‘you’ that you tried (in vain) to quit. You’re still talking to me, you’re still drawn to what you always were. Nothing changed, except that now you are without your beautiful things, your frills and lace, your silky satins, your soft and lovelies.
Purge one thing, and one thing only….
If you are struggling, please don’t throw your feminine items away. Believe me when I say that it doesn’t change a thing. The only thing you need to purge is your guilt and the notion that there is something ‘wrong’ with you. Stop fighting, my friend. A trip to the dumpster will never bring a victory. No more shame, no more beating yourself up. Allow yourself to love yourself.
And before you say that ‘it’s easier said than done’, consider for a moment that I do not have to live your life to understand purging in this context. Every single one of us find ourselves at a crossroads in this life, sometimes more than once. I know about heart-pounding choices and decisions to accept myself for who I am even if no one else understands. Pretending to be something you’re not will never bring peace, no matter what the situation.
We need to be who we are. You need to own your feminine self.
Are you struggling? Hear me in this:
Whatever they told you that you could not do, whatever they said you could not be, no matter how they pounded their morals or beliefs into you or shoved you full of their own laws and rules, be. Just be. Live. Stretch. Surrender. Grow. You are yours to give away. Drink deep. You’re free.
I’m not going to purge as ive spent to much money on women’s clothes/dresses/bras/panties/heels/boots/ lipstick/wigs/makeup. If anything taking a break is good to do which I’m doing right now and will call as soon as I get home projects caught up. I know I’ll never find real women to share my fetish as I’m not going to risk losing friendship. I’m also scared about the reprussions a well. The only way I can have this happen is to be with both girls I know with me being in middle of girl talk and I’m there with both. For me this is only beat I can get hard and off is dressing as a girl. I want to have girlfriend but with this fetish and her not knowing it’s not healthy nor right. The only way for this to happen is to come out of closet which I’m afraid of. I think I really need counseling on this. Any help/advice is welcome.
I think therapy is insanely helpful. I have someone that I go and talk to from time to time, and it’s such a load off of my brain to just work things out verbally and have a non-biased third party weigh in. Maybe talking about coming out of the closet with a counselor will be good practice in ‘telling someone’ finally, and build confidence for you to tell people you know and love.
Mistress Amber you know my story is sadly one of repetitious cycles of purging. Thanks for this article and others you’ve written like it. I’m sure there are many who will benefit from it as have I. Thank You for the submission that You and Mistress Delia are leading me on right now. I still haven’t purged all the guilt, but You’re leading me to the freedom of surrender.
I am so glad to hear that, subBill! Thank you for commenting on this, as I definitely know you have had your struggles about purging.
Purging is a struggle many men face. First, they have to reconcile the fact that is ok for them to be a sissy if this is what makes one happy. So until they do this, purging will happen over and over again.
That is so true, Miss Cindy. But it’s a struggle that doesn’t have to happen and that they don’t have to do alone.