If you’re a sissy or a cross dresser, you already know that femininity can be exhausting! Some of you dress just for fun and relaxation, but for others, it’s a way of life and you work hard to blur the lines of your ‘double life’ so they flow seamlessly into each other. Your interests are steeped in all-things-female, and you see feminization as another language that you are not only learning, but destined to speak.
Whether you are weaving femininity into your genetic makeup or you are a natural-born, we all have the same problem: media and pop culture tells us that we’re basically supposed to do everything and be everything. That’s what you see all the women in the spotlight doing, right? It doesn’t matter that Photoshop might be behind some of it. We seem to forget that. There’s just such a great expectation to ‘be’. From Nike ads where women are running (it makes us want to feel strong and athletic!) to wondering just how beautiful we’d have to become in order to almost ‘break the Internet’ like Kim Kardashian. We’d probably never admit we want that. It seems shallow, but we’re always seeking to improve ourselves and secretly be better than other women although we’d deny even that. We steal glances of ourselves in shop windows, meticulously pinpoint exactly what needs to change and we have the world’s current standards to blame.
Feminization, and the urge to do it all
Fashions change with the seasons, and not only are you supposed to be ready, you’re supposed to know exactly what to wear. Accessorize, but not too much. You’re a blank canvas every morning and your personal goal is to look more like a woman. But the upkeep for being a female can be tedious and expensive. It also never ends. Whether it’s bleaching, waxing, shaving or creams, you have to deal with hair. Of course, it’s not just about being soft and making sure that you are smooth in all the right places, you have to smell amazing no matter what. Oh, but you have to exercise and keep yourself up. Gyms make you sweat, but don’t you dare. You’re only allowed to glisten. You need to find that perfect balance between the sensuous beauty that posed for Leo on the Titanic, the courageous beauty that kicked ass in The Hunger Games and the raw sexuality that danced on a pole in Striptease. Somewhere, there’s a cross between a sexually confident Demi in Disclosure and a sweet-as-pie, nobody’s fool like Reese in Legally Blonde. Find it, be it and make it look good. That’s your job. Keep up with products, blossom, thrive and exude something that looks effortless. Except that it’s not. Being a girl is hard sometimes, even for the natural-borns. It’s times like this that having a feminization Mistress can be a help.
Well, I’m not here to tell you to forget everything that women have to do and just say fuck it. Because there’s a good reason why things are the way they are, and we still need to keep ourselves up. However, we’re viewing it the wrong way. Pretty people are pretty, but they’re still people. Britney Spears has acne until she sits in that make-up chair. Sofia Vergara will stink if she doesn’t use deoderant, just like you. Ariana Grande farts after Mexican food, Julia Roberts has morning breath and rumors of Kim Kardashian’s ass have been somewhat exaggerated. No pretty person is perfect, and the longer you allow yourself to be held to an impossible standard, the more you feel like crap for no reason. The rare days when we feel like we reached our goals, we feel amazing. But it’s never consistent, is it?
Doable femininity
The standards that have been set in the media are to inspire us, not be our judge, jury and executioner. That’s why this series is going to be about how to take care of ourselves little by little and applying practicality into basic things that you care about. Guided feminization and advice on wig care, tips on picking the right heel, packing an overnight bag…..these are the things I want to talk about in his series, but it’s more about getting you ready for a girl’s night out. This week, I want you to think about doable femininity. It’s about finding your style, setting your own standard and taking care of yourself because you are invested in yourself and you’re not running someone else’s race. Forget the impossible, the unrealistic and the downright silly. Be practical with what you aim for. (You can be sensible and fabulous, you know!) Dress for yourself and be classy. Cultivate your own beauty and become someone that craves their own company.
Relax a little. Do what feels good and right for you. Becoming a real woman is about maturity and growth, not about what some of us feel we’re entitled to.
Our paths are different but our journeys are the same. Let’s walk together.
Your right it is hard work in being sissy cream puff. I used to eat lots of food but now that has to change. No more beer/pizza/or guy food if I want to fit into dresses/leggings/yoga pants. How many fat women do you see? Now it’s fruits/veggies/chicken breasts skinless/yougert. Also I’ve been getting waxed for 13 years every 6 weeks. It is work but it’s worth it. Love the soft, smooth skin as everything fits better especially bras/panties/slip/leggings. Also lotions I’m using to keep skin soft and girlish smooth and smelling. A girls night out with you and other mistresses would be hot! Trip to mall to have me get bra fitting/shopping for dresses and having me wear them as well a trip to makeup counter. I’m weak around women and to have them have way with me is what I want and need.
You aren’t kidding about the diet and upkeep. We definitely have our work cut out for us!
You have to workout everyday. People who say they eat anything they want and do diet and still have lean, ripped look are lying. You can have 1 cheat male but that’s it. It’s reason I quit bodybuilding as they’re were but fake and lyers telling me to bulk up then get lean. I bulked up alright to get to fat while they all stayed lean. I have rid of them in my life forever. Same with going to bars. They are off limits. To many idiots and nothing but trouble.
What I’ve noticed about my own body is that it isn’t extra pounds I need to watch out for as much as it’s working on toning. As I get older, keeping firm is a job in itself. We can’t all have Michelle Obama arms, but damn, don’t they look amazing! I try very hard to stay toned. Lol
Love this blog post Ms Amber. It is a lot of work being feminine. Starting with shopping for all of the things that you need, shaving takes up so much time and just preparing the Canvas for the picture. How far a guy wants to take it also determines how much work that he will be putting in to being feminine. Having your nails done, learning to apply makeup and so many other things. I say take it as far as you can guys and enjoy!
I agree, Miss Cooper! There’s lots to do, and it’s worth it. But it’s about being the best you, and not someone else. =)
I’m with Ms. Cooper—I love this post. I think it’s fabulous to have someone acknowledge that sometimes sissies feel overwhelmed by the pressure to conform the society’s expectations of ‘feminine beauty’. As Mistresses, we’ve been ladies our entire lives, and we’re confident in ourselves, our looks, and our personalities—but we all know biological ladies who aren’t. Sissies arrive late to the game, while we’ve had a lifetime of practice. Being the best feminine version of yourself can seem a very daunting task–which is why I’m thrilled we here to help them 😉
So am I. It’s such an important task, Miss Lilly! We get so many opportunities!
Im new to this site, and I must say thank you for all of the advice on here. I am a 40 year old crossdresser, and although my wife does support me and tries to help, she is kind of at a loss as to how to help me look more feminine. Thanks so much for the advice!
Of course! Thank you for reading, Michelle. Wednesdays are special days for me, and I love to help!